Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Learning Trauma Care for Family and Community with Josée
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Description
What does it truly mean to walk alongside others through seasons of challenge, healing, and growth?
In this heartfelt conversation, Tim Smith and Johan Heinrichs speak with Josée, a mother, homeschooler, and family coach from the Ottawa area. Josée shares stories from her family’s adoption journey and her work with Safe Families, revealing how her pursuit of trauma care training through CareImpact has shaped both her home life and community involvement. With practical insights into compassion, connection, and equipping the Church to serve well, Josée encourages listeners to deepen their understanding of trauma, embrace empathy in all relationships, and become safe spaces for those in need.
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Transcript
Welcome to this special episode of Journey with Care, part of our summer speedo
Speaker:series. I'm Johan, and today, I'm excited to hand the mic over to our
Speaker:guest host, Tim, our lead trauma care trainer who's guiding us through
Speaker:a meaningful conversation with Jose. She'll be joining us
Speaker:from Ottawa. She is a mother of four, passionate homeschooler, and deeply
Speaker:involved in her local church and community. In this episode, she shares
Speaker:about her family's story, her heart for serving others, and some powerful
Speaker:insights on compassion and connection, and they get into why she got
Speaker:into trauma care and why she took the trauma care course with Care Impact.
Speaker:Some powerful insights. So whether you're in a walk in your garden or just taking
Speaker:a break, I invite you to listen as we explore what it means to walk
Speaker:alongside others and grow together. Let's get started.
Speaker:Well, Jose, welcome. We are so excited to have this
Speaker:moment to have a little conversation with you. And
Speaker:I'm just wondering, you're there in Ottawa. I'm here in Nova Scotia.
Speaker:Is there something simple that brought you joy this week? Oh, yeah.
Speaker:Getting out in the garden with the kids. I mean, we're we're just preparing, having
Speaker:the chickens walking around, and the kids just helping me out with some
Speaker:projects. We we have a lot of fun out there. Beautiful. Oh, I love it.
Speaker:I'm gardening here with our two kids and and, loving that as well.
Speaker:Before we jump into your story, if you could share a little bit about
Speaker:yourself, where you live, what you do, anything you kind of would
Speaker:like to share with us about your day to day life. Well, thanks for
Speaker:having me. My name is Jules Lee Jovan. I live in Clarence Rockland,
Speaker:and we have a family of four kiddos. So my
Speaker:husband, Steph, and I, we've lived in this area. Well, him his whole
Speaker:life and me, rural Eastern my whole life. But with our
Speaker:kids, we have three girls and one boy and
Speaker:basically a 15 year old, a 10 year old
Speaker:and two little twins that are two little boy little girls.
Speaker:So that's that's our family. We are a homeschooling family. We
Speaker:are in it for the long haul, so I kinda joke around that I don't
Speaker:know what vacations are, and I I don't know what retirement's gonna look like,
Speaker:but I try to enjoy that journey with them and get to
Speaker:infuse some life and what God has placed over them. And so that's
Speaker:a high honor. I also serve through my local
Speaker:church. We go to New Beginning Church in Rockland
Speaker:and served and worship there a long time, but God really put a
Speaker:tug on my heart to serve with safe families.
Speaker:And we wanted to, as a family, have that opportunity to reach out to our
Speaker:community in a very tangible way. And so
Speaker:we became a host family with them. And then, well, when our
Speaker:adoption went through, then things shifted, with the two younger
Speaker:ones. And so now I'm a family coach with them and still advocating
Speaker:to, and supporting the work that say families auto was doing as well
Speaker:as hoping that we eventually will be able to reach out to the community
Speaker:here and continue to see families and
Speaker:encouraged and strengthened in their journey, but also to
Speaker:see God do some restoration. And so for me,
Speaker:learning about trauma care has been life giving, not only for me with my own
Speaker:kids, but interaction with other families, other children,
Speaker:but also with, or would say families, I think is so important. And,
Speaker:so I'm really thankful for that opportunity of the course. I'm just, I
Speaker:need that gets I can get a handle on. And, and the more I can
Speaker:understand of myself as well as I, aim to serve
Speaker:others that are going through crises, then the the more the Lord is able
Speaker:to sharpen whatever I am doing. And and so that has a greater impact for
Speaker:his glory. That's beautiful, Jose. So for our
Speaker:listeners that are not familiar with the Ottawa area, I grew up
Speaker:there, so I know where Clarence Rockland is. But you're just outside of Ottawa. You
Speaker:referred to being connected with Safe Families Ottawa. We've got
Speaker:another story that listeners will hear, from someone else connected with Safe
Speaker:Families. You've already jumped right in to where our questions are going today.
Speaker:Can you share a little bit about your journey in understanding a little bit about
Speaker:trauma? What first opened your eyes to to that? When
Speaker:we were going through the process of adoption, actually, is what
Speaker:got us into it. We're trying to learn more and more
Speaker:about trauma and open adoption and
Speaker:understanding the dynamics of a child
Speaker:that has gone through that trauma, whether they're adopted from birth or
Speaker:later on, and just being aware of how to support them in all those
Speaker:seasons. That's where it started. Started learning
Speaker:with the provinces to, you know, what are some of the challenges out in the
Speaker:community with the foster system? And that was very much,
Speaker:it was very much geared towards that. I found a lot for adoptive
Speaker:families like we were hoping to be. And so I came across
Speaker:Catherine Purvis's resources, and so we
Speaker:started connecting with the annual conference
Speaker:with Empowered to Connect, the podcast as well, and just
Speaker:taking that in and sharing with our kids too, our older girls,
Speaker:so that they can also understand how those dynamics might
Speaker:change and what we can pray for. And I find sharing
Speaker:is is an opportunity for them to to be more
Speaker:empathic empathetic Mhmm. From French. Empathetic. Yeah. Thank
Speaker:you. You're you're doing this in your second language. Yeah. It's beautiful, Jose. Thank
Speaker:you. Oh, I'm Franco and Terrian, so we kinda blended all
Speaker:both. Right. Well, we wanted them
Speaker:to have compassion in their hearts for others irregardless through
Speaker:adoption. Just anyone you meet in community. Right? That's really the heart even in our
Speaker:homeschool, that, that they would be able to be strong in the Lord
Speaker:and that their first response is when they see people they interact with
Speaker:is compassion and understanding, well, this is who God is, and
Speaker:this is what he's expecting of me. But God, what is
Speaker:your response? What do you see? How do you want me to act and
Speaker:embrace this person? And so we've had that lovely introduction,
Speaker:those resources, honestly, was the best books I found.
Speaker:I found some, some really horrific books, unfortunately, about
Speaker:adoption and trauma and all these things. I was like, lord, it's
Speaker:so sad. But, yeah, it is. It is. But I'm like,
Speaker:surely, there is hope because there's you. And then I I came
Speaker:across those, those resources. And so I was like, Oh, thank you,
Speaker:Lord. Like just so much hope. And then I care
Speaker:and I've been blessed and encouraged our
Speaker:family in ways that we never even thought we'd need it. Like
Speaker:we went through some trauma with our
Speaker:eldest, some times, of, of serious
Speaker:illness where at 11 years old, we almost lost her and
Speaker:having to walk through that with her and then walk through the trauma
Speaker:of my younger child at that time, realizing that maybe she
Speaker:was an ill, but she certainly had trauma. So it opened my eyes.
Speaker:So even to this day, God is still showing, ways that we
Speaker:can kind of reconnect and help rebuild there. And he's done so much.
Speaker:But if I would not have had that opportunity
Speaker:to learn about new trauma and how to connect and how
Speaker:to rebuild it, then that would have been detrimental, I think, to my
Speaker:family. So I definitely encourage any family to
Speaker:be informed about these resources because
Speaker:first thing we have to do is look at ourselves. And as a parent, we
Speaker:can get triggered by so many things, but to take the time to
Speaker:understand, like, how am I triggered here? What is
Speaker:this? Where is this coming from? And understanding and getting some
Speaker:insight into my experience as a teller. What have I told
Speaker:myself? What have I believed all these years and how is that impacting how I
Speaker:interact with others? Yeah. It's a lovely thing. And
Speaker:we certainly wanna have connection with our kids and encourage
Speaker:them that whatever season you're going through, that I'm a safe space
Speaker:to land and that, you know, we're we're able to walk through it together.
Speaker:That's beautiful, Jazee. It's so powerful how you're seeing
Speaker:the equipping that you've received really shaping you.
Speaker:And then it's you that holds the relationships within
Speaker:your family unit that you're speaking a lot to. But in the community, you've
Speaker:spoken of your church, of safe families and their connection with other families, and then,
Speaker:of course, within your family unit with the adoptive twins
Speaker:that you have, but also with your biological kids and the hard things that each
Speaker:of you has been through together. And it's not just one
Speaker:place of relationship that I'm hearing from you that you found the
Speaker:impact of the training and the empathy that comes with understanding
Speaker:more of what's below the surface for for each of us.
Speaker:So you've just actually come through a training, a master class we call it with
Speaker:Care Impact. Very similar content, I would say, being
Speaker:trained in TBRI and in this content we just delivered.
Speaker:You have a few things to say to that training. You've already said a lot,
Speaker:but, was there a moment in the trauma care master
Speaker:class, that you just took where you learned or realized something
Speaker:that helped you approach a relationship differently, something maybe new,
Speaker:or or just a a strong reminder to you that you picked up from the
Speaker:course? There was a lot of reminders, but I do have to say that
Speaker:it went even deeper in details about trauma,
Speaker:trauma intervention, the fight or flight, all the different,
Speaker:things, even the attachment styles. That's not something that we had gone through
Speaker:and the other resources that I had learned. So I very much
Speaker:appreciated that. Yeah. Some more detail around what was
Speaker:happening physiologically and an understanding of,
Speaker:and what place people are at, depending on where
Speaker:they're at. Seeing also their attachment types, how it's
Speaker:represented in childhood and then how it's represented in adulthood,
Speaker:because those will look completely different. And so I really
Speaker:appreciated those details. Of course, as we ended
Speaker:up closing the time together, there was some sharing about others,
Speaker:share our kids' stories. And so for me as an adoptive mom, I have a
Speaker:closed adoption. It's a bit tricky to know how do you
Speaker:share what and how much. That was really helpful to me because they went
Speaker:through the different stages and what's an example of how you could share
Speaker:delicate information, but but in accordance to their development.
Speaker:Yeah. So I thought that was helpful. Oh, thank you. Thank you for sharing that,
Speaker:Jose. I'm so glad to hear that it was a deeper dive, that it went
Speaker:broader, reminded you of some core things that you had picked up along the
Speaker:way from TBRI and wherever else you've been been doing your
Speaker:learning. And, but I'm so glad to hear that the course served
Speaker:to to broaden and deepen your understanding, and it is from that place,
Speaker:like we say in the course, of competence that our compassion grows. And as
Speaker:our compassion grows, we desire to get more competent. So I I I think it's
Speaker:beautiful that you're on that journey. With this learning journey you've been on,
Speaker:has there been a moment when what you learned or what
Speaker:you've been realizing along the way has helped shape a specific situation that you
Speaker:might wanna share with us? It reminded me, again,
Speaker:when we were talking about adoption and you had mentioned a book about the
Speaker:body remembers trauma, which I knew, but again, you know what? I got the
Speaker:book because I'm like, No, I need to dig deeper here because, yeah,
Speaker:their body remembers and I need even more education on what that might
Speaker:even look like as they're growing up. And also for my other
Speaker:kids and the trauma that they went through too. There might be some things that
Speaker:I'm seeing that are actually an indicator of that. And in a bigger
Speaker:spectrum too, I want to help and support families that might be going
Speaker:something similar, But but from my own space, that's where I was coming
Speaker:from. Like, oh, yeah. I I need to dig in a little bit deeper there.
Speaker:As you think of yourself and this is a while ago now because you've been
Speaker:on this journey for a good while. But as you think of yourself before starting
Speaker:this journey learning about the impacts of trauma and how to care well,
Speaker:is there a way that you've seen yourself interact maybe with one of
Speaker:your kids or or anyone, in your life that you realize has shifted
Speaker:a little bit? And could you tell a quick story about that?
Speaker:So much. I mean, I I grew up in a a a
Speaker:different time. Right? And we look at our parents and our grandparents and
Speaker:and the parenting that they did, of course, the best that they could in very
Speaker:loving ways. And then, you know, we kind of make a decision as to, well,
Speaker:this is how I do want to parent. This is how I'd like to
Speaker:be with my kids. And so, yeah, in our journey, it's
Speaker:opened my eyes to even more connection. Like I, I
Speaker:remember feeling the stress in my household and, and
Speaker:then seeing my parents relaxed when we were all married and gone. I'm like, you
Speaker:know what? I want to enjoy the journey. I want to enjoy
Speaker:the moments. I want to enjoy even the hardships, but just to
Speaker:allow the Lord to just, to move in those and
Speaker:to be present. The tools I've learned in order to stay
Speaker:connected with my kids, if I have to intervene as far as even,
Speaker:just discipline the regular mentoring we have to do with our kids, a lot of
Speaker:repetition, but to keep myself checked
Speaker:where I'm able to to be,
Speaker:regulated, but also help them to find, regulate and talk
Speaker:through tools a lot about self regulation and
Speaker:sometimes to their frustration. They're like, but this really does help. And you know, I'm
Speaker:a parent, but it helps me too. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I don't
Speaker:wanna do something, but you know, taking a nice deep breath or doing
Speaker:you know, not running away, but choosing to to stick around and
Speaker:and to talk it through or just even have a big hug and and
Speaker:talk through how we're feeling. Doesn't that feel better? And asking about
Speaker:how how they're feeling when they're going through all those emotions and then
Speaker:connecting. And how do you feel now, now that we've been talking together? And
Speaker:I know it was really hard at first, but how are you feeling now? Like,
Speaker:that feels really good, you know, and just talking about what we can do in
Speaker:the future maybe. So you don't have to feel that way and
Speaker:and a lot of connecting, a lot of talking, a lot of yeah.
Speaker:Well, that's beautiful. I love that centering on
Speaker:connection because that feels like a great idea
Speaker:until you're in the moment and it's hot and it's tired and the emotions,
Speaker:yours and whoever else you're caring for, the kids in the in the case
Speaker:you're sharing, right, are are high. And I and I love your naming
Speaker:finding joy in the journey, of of connection. And
Speaker:I I hear you, naming emotions, not just for your
Speaker:kids, but for yourself and being able to name those together is a powerful way
Speaker:of regulating. That's so beautiful.
Speaker:It's been such a pleasure hearing your story, and I know your
Speaker:story will be an encouragement to our listeners as they
Speaker:think about, is this something I should be on a journey
Speaker:of learning more in understanding trauma and how to care well for people who
Speaker:are carrying hard things? Do you have one final encouragement for our
Speaker:listeners, one final, little reach out to anybody that
Speaker:might be thinking about this idea of learning more?
Speaker:Mhmm. I'd encourage them to do that, to step out.
Speaker:Whether you're in ministry or you're you're walking alongside people, all
Speaker:of us go through difficult seasons. It might even be your own
Speaker:parents one day. You really don't know what God's gonna put
Speaker:on your path. As far as, you know, someone that you're asked to be the
Speaker:hands and feet of Jesus, I just find it's just another way to connect to
Speaker:his heart, to really have him touch your heart with different
Speaker:ways to connect to people, to really have eyes, to see people for
Speaker:who they are and to walk with them where they're at,
Speaker:just like God does with us. I think it's terrific
Speaker:for the church ministries. We've got so many people that
Speaker:are reaching out and coming, but so little equipping. I think there's so
Speaker:much room to increase, you know, talking about this and
Speaker:sharing resources and, and making this actually
Speaker:a pivotal piece of how we're choosing to reach out to
Speaker:the community and all the different ways. I think it'll, we'll see a greater
Speaker:impact if we do that. And as Christians, I mean, we'll be
Speaker:better equipped as well, too. In this day and age, there is so much
Speaker:brokenness. And so we, we can use all the,
Speaker:the tools that we can, especially when people have walked through it and they've
Speaker:they've learned so much. I mean, there's a lot of wisdom to learn and it's
Speaker:wise to apply that, you know, with the sermon and the different
Speaker:situations we come across. Great wisdom.
Speaker:Thank you, Jose. Bless you.
Speaker:Thank you. Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care.
Speaker:To get more information on weekly episodes, upcoming opportunities,
Speaker:or to connect with our community, visit journeywithcare.ca,
Speaker:or find Care Impact on Facebook and Instagram. Or just check
Speaker:the show notes for these links and all the links related to this episode.
Speaker:Share your thoughts, leave us a message, and be part of a network of
Speaker:individuals journeying in faith and purpose. Together, let's discover
Speaker:how we can make a meaningful impact.
